D-Day

We go in this morning for my pregnancy test. I'm so ridiculously nervous that I could puke. It's hard to believe the 2WW is already over.

Please be positive. Please be positive. Please be positive.

Current state of affairs

The past week has been interesting. I dealt with cramps, exhaustion and a bout of severe 6 day nausea. Last night, David uttered the 2 words I never want to hear after an IM progesterone shot - "you're bleeding". Yippee. This is after he managed to hit a nerve the other day and caused some of my toes on my left foot to go slightly numb. This is wearing me out.

I'm currently convinced that I'm not pregnant. My pregnancy test at the clinic is on Friday, and I don't even want to go. I feel that the only thing keeping me from not bleeding all over everything is my estrogen pills and patches and those awful progesterone shots. I've started making plans for the next year to keep myself occupied until we can afford to try this again. We've spent close to 20k on this in 2009 alone, there's no more IVF money to do another round. I am going to be a hot mess and I'm already driving David nuts.

I have also discovered that knowlege of our fertility issues has made it to more people than I'd like. Seriously people, if someone's infertile, it's not your story to tell. It's a private issue and now I'm beginning to think that our entire 3000 member church congregation knows. NOT GOOD. Privacy? What privacy?

I need a vacation....

Pregnant until you tell me otherwise

I'm now pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.  The transfer on Friday went off without a hitch.  We arrived at the hospital at 7 and were out of there in no time.  It was weird, the nurse allowed me to pee before I took my ibuprofen and Valium.  They didn't allow that last time.

Bedrest was a drag.  I'm not good at sitting still, let alone laying in only 3 positions.  Eating and drinking were quite the experience.  Thank goodness for straws and big towels that catch random drippings and crumbs of whatever.  It was a long 3 days, made even longer by the fact that our A/C decided to stop working on Sunday.  We live on the Texas Gulf Coast and it's June - you're in big trouble if it goes out.  You can't bring enough oscillating fans into the bedroom of a woman on bedrest.

Today was the first day back at work.  Trying to stay low-key and stress-free for the most part, but that's yet to be seen.  My coworkers are crazy and crazy is contagious.  I may have to put police tape up around my door to prevent it from coming into my work area.

Our pregnancy test is a week from Friday.  This 2WW (two week wait) is going to kick my butt.  I want to know now even though I fear failure again.  I don't think you ever lose that fear after you've had a failed cycle.  I keep hoping David will be positive enough for both of us.  I just need to pick up a hobby to keep my mind occupied until then.